My alotted time

Ha! See how I did that? It's like it's a new joke again. It's action film week On the Lot. I'm excited, though I'm not sure anyone else in the TV watching world is. And seeing as how only two people have answered my poll on the right (--->), it seems I'm sitting here discussing these movies with myself. That Antwan Fuqua is watching them with me makes me feel a little better at least.

On the bright side, I called this week's oustings of Hillary (FINALLY) and Shalini.

Key Witness (Sam): This is very different content for this show. Witness caught by bounty hunter then found by bad guys. Terrible dialogue and nothing really outwardly special in his style, but just the right amount of quick cuts and goofiness to make it reasonably entertaining.

Sweet (Jason): Forgotten anniversary cliche... but I'm a big fan of cross concept stories. An action film with a goofy romantic-comedy story, though I think the comedy got pushed a little bit too hard and the props/costumes/etc were terrible. He's getting better every week as a filmmaker though.

Zero 2 Sixty (Andrew): Car salesman trapped in car with cop for chase. It's the type of flick that would be made in full-length format starring Jimmy Fallon to the horror of well-heeled film fans everywhere. In short form, it's OK, but I expect much more from this guy. The comedy was weak and I wasn't very much impressed with the acting, but it was really well shot.

The Losers (Kenny): I was really starting to like this guy after last week. Then he put THIS together. Dad competes in skateboarding downhill for son with busted ankle. The dialogue and the acting and the writing and the story were all horrific. Especially the dialogue.

Catch (Mateen): Best story of the night... good Samaritan chasing pickpocket and getting bamboozled. It may be his best yet. Well shot and better characters than any others tonight.

I'm thinking Kenny and Andrew may be the victims this week, though Andrew's better than his presentation showed this time around. Reader... comment?

Losing aLot

Well, after a text this morning from a friend of mine, I believe I'm the ONLY person still watching On the Lot. They're not even doing live kick-off shows. They're cramming the show into an hour each week and bouncing it around all over the schedule.

Now they're booting two directors each week over the next two weeks. They really want to finish this show up. Fox, if you hadn't been so wishy washy about it at the beginning, people would have caught on. But you kept changing the game. Tsk.

Considering the sheer creepiness of her flick and the real ballsy move by Mateen, I'm a little surprised Shira-Lee went home. Oh well.

Time Upon a Once (Zach): Interesting concept, but that was just WEIRD. There was nearly no story and I'm kinda disappointed.

The Legend of Donkey-tail Willy (Hillary): She's the worst contestant still on the show. At least she didn't disappoint. Sheez, that was terrible. Probably the worst thing I've ever seen on film. I honestly didn't see two worlds collide, either. Why can't directors follow directions.

Spaghetti (Will): Complete other side of the coin. Best director in the competition and probably among his best flicks yet. It looked REALLY good, too. And he followed directions.

(Make Gary Marshall stop trying to be funny. Someone. Please.)

First Sight (Shalini): Um. Yeah. Trying too hard. Sorry. I know she wasn't trying to be entertaining. But still.

Worldly Possession (Adam): Silly, but among the best this week. He'll be fine

Bye bye to Shalini and Hillary if America knows what's good for it. You know. All 12 voters.

Quick trip to the Lot

I'll keep this a little bit short.

Short-form horror is an intriguing concept for this killer competition. Apparently, I'm the only one enjoying it, but I really want to see what these guys can do when faced with this tougher task. There're some really good filmmakers on the docket this week, too. Kenny's up this week as well.

This week's ouster: Bull-crap decision booting David, America. Seriously. If I have to keep complaining about this stuff to you, I may just stop discussing this type of show... wait, that sounds like a good idea.

The Malibu Myth (Kenny): I'm thinking that at least we get this out of the way early. It was terribly written, but shot EXTREMELY well. Goofy ending hurt him, I think, but so much better than anything else he's done.

Anklebiters (Sam): Interesting tone (sort of felt like an episode of Nickelodeon's old Are You Afraid of the Dark?) and great atmosphere, but I think his worry about working with a puppet came true. I also agree with Eli Roth about the tag with the detective taking away.

Midnight Snack (Andrew): Funny and well shot. Not his best, though, which disappointed me. That I can't come up with much else makes me worry about him.

Eternal Waters (Jason): Wow. Holy crow, that was good. He had a brilliant story, different from the rest in that it was much more supernatural and had a real story behind it. He took a big step up in the competition.

Open House (Shira-Lee): The directors that are working out of their element seem to keep doing well. This was good -- not the best, but really good.

Side note: Eli Roth keeps referring to other films. It's perturbing.

Profile (Mateen): I don't have a problem with making a statement, but I don't know how to feel about this one. Until I realized it was all in his mind, I'd decided this isn't a horror movie, thereby making him this week's loser on principle. It ended up being much better than I expected considering the circumstances. I really like this guy. That doesn't mean it'll save him.

All good ones this week, I think. But what we're missing here is a longer look into the making of these short films... maybe make the groups smaller and the films/intros a bit longer. It would serve everyone a lot better.

Mateen will likely be the one to go, though I'd put in my vote for Sam. These are all good filmmakers, but his was maybe the worst movie.

I have no more clever Lot headlines...

It seems to me the contest they're putting together is uneven if they're going to split the contestants into groups and hand each group different tasks (comedy this week, ... it becomes luck of the draw. Most of these people are pretty good, too, which disappoints me.

Luckily, Jessica got dumped in the pre-taped ousting -- another change due to declining ratings. I hate that the show is being so inconsistent.

Doctor in Law (Shalini): For someone with no confidence, she hit a home run! Clever idea, well executed and overall pretty strong. I wish it could have been longer and more developed, but for two minutes, she gets high marks.

Discovering the Wheels (Adam): Sort of dumb idea that came off better than it probably was. There were a few good laughs, but nothing hilarious. First time I actually recognized an actor in any of these flicks... but that's not the point.

Nerve Endings (Will): The silent film gags Will uses continue to make me laugh. He's got to be the best storyteller in the bunch. I'm worried he may fall on his face when forced to work some dialogue in, but he's still gotta be safe at this point.

Under the Gun (Hillary): I haven't liked anything she's done yet, I don't believe. She seems to slip by every week. And... oh, look... she's filmed crap again. The whole idea here was completely lame, and I don't think I noticed a laugh at all.

(Open side note to Fox: Please, please, PLEASE make Gary Marshall stop trying to be funny.)

How to Have a Girl (David): Last week went kind of rough for him. This was a million times better (and included TWO actors I know this time). The judges are dummies. I laughed more during this than any of this week's other flicks.

Die Hardly Working (Zack): Cute, kinda funny, but not as much as I expected. I think it could have gone even a little farther... maybe if he'd had more time to stretch the idea out. Anyway, I can't trash it, because I liked it a lot. Man this reminds me of my college job managing a movie theater...

I worry that David will go home, but honestly I don't think it would be absolutely terrible. Adam was cruddy, but not as cruddy as Hillary.

Darn -- I wish this show were longer. It's really getting short changed. While America's Got Talent gets two-hour jaunts every week, the show about something people actually care about (movies) is being completely ignored. (Homework: I'm looking for thoughts on why this is...)

Best of the Lot

As if they listened to me, they got the ousting out of the way quickly. Sadly, they tossed Marty. Bad move with Kenny among the group. America, I'm tired of letting you make decisions for me. Honestly.

Another happy note: They got a real director to guest judge tonight -- Wes Craven

Glass Eye (Will): Neat little game with camera work. Like last time he, will owes a ton to the old black and white, slapstick-type silent films. I think his vision works despite what Carrie Fisher had to say.

Blood Born (Jason): What started as seemingly a drug-free America commercial... ended much better than I could have imagined. I don't like that the judges don't like him. He's a good filmmaker.

Sunshine Girl (Zach): It's hard not to feel for a little kid afraid of the dark. I'm not sure this worked as a full story like the other ones so far, but I liked it just fine.

Lost (Mateen): A bit depressing but another good movie. My only argument is some of the acting was off. But it's nothing that most big budget love stories don't stumble over either. He could be the most in trouble so far if only because of the subject matter.

The Orchard (Jessica): She didn't deserve to make it to this round as I recall. How she got Geraldo Rivera to do her film is beyond me (watch the show and you'll get the joke). As for the movie, I didn't get it at ALL.

America, watch this show. Despite Jessica's cruddy effort weighing it down, this was the best bunch of flicks yet. Don't make me come after you.

Jessica should be headed home, though I'll bet it's more likely Mateen gets the boot. Silly voters.

Lots to say

I've decided -- On the Lot would be great if it weren't for the host, the judges and the theme music. This show could be great in a half-hour form... or maybe on the Web... I should research that, because I think you can watch all the films there. That's probably why ratings are down. Networks don't seem to get that they put all this money into the Web and their viewership goes down BECAUSE of it.

Interesting lot tonight. Maybe not better than last week, but some really promising content. I'm really pining to see longer forms of some of the work of these directors.

Polished (Andrew): Brilliant! Beautifully shown, great miniature story. Only thing that worries me about this film is that they used the best of the week's fare first AGAIN.

Love at First Shot (David): Not thrilled by the look of this one, but I like the geek content, which probably went over the heads of many. I agree with Gary about the pacing being off.

Beeline (Shira-Lee): A good idea, a few cheap jokes and a cute little payoff at the end. Not amazing but not terrible at all.

(Side note A: Guest judge David Frankel is worse than Michael Bay. And if I see our sparsely dressed host at the fake concession stand with the extra dressed as a popcorn-selling teen again I may puke.)

Dance with the Devil (Marty): I like the way this was shot, though I may have done better without the onscreen text when the bad guy spoke and I feel like a lot got left out of any sort of story. In a longer form, I'd probably have loved it. I'm glad he fought back, but he needs a full story.

Edge on the End (Kenny): Looks more like a terrible early 90s music video. Like for a Candlebox song or something. He's got a neat way of showing things, but he's not the mainstream type of director they're looking for on this show. David Frankel said his only smart words of the night terming this a "visual poem."

Who's going? Probably Kenny, considering his competition, but there's room for David to fall off, too.

Direct to TV...

So three weeks of five-way competition seems like the track for On the Lot for the next few weeks. Doesn't sound like a bad idea to me. In fact, it makes it a little more interesting that chances you'll go home increase significantly.

Broken Pipe Dreams (Sam): Seriously well done. I hate to hand out a best-flick-of-the-night this early... I always hate to do that with a show like this because I don't know what else is coming. But I'd bet right now that it will be. I really felt bad for the character, more empathy than suspense. And it still worked.

I'd hate to think he would take cues from Michael Bay on editing or any type of good filmmaking (that any one of them would take cues from Michael Bay). I'm ignoring everything he says. I'd rather listen to Carrie Fisher. And Carrie Fisher really irks me.

Teri (Trevor): Trevor annoys me. That didn't help his film. But I don't really think anything could have. Stupid joke dragged out too long and done before. Please send this guy home.

The First Time I Met the Finkelsteins (Hillary): Based on previous performance
I'd expect little from this one. Bad acting really made it pretty lame. I was happy to see someone skew a bit edgy, but despite a couple good lines it wasn't really funny.

Dough: The Musical (Adam): Nearly no plot. Writing helped, but I didn't even care about the two characters. I just wanted it to end.

I don't think Gary Marshall knows where he is half the time. He didn't get the joke in the last flick (saying they should look at each other without realizing she wanted nothing to do with him) and he liked the movie. Maybe I should stop paying so much attention and I'll enjoy these more.

Laughing Out Loud (Shalini): I think this will hurt her. Amazingly good docu-short. I like the subject and I like that it's different. If she goes home, I'll be convinced America really doesn't understand movies. Wait, what am I talking about... America likes Borat. All is already lost.

If Gary Marshall mentions how important female filmmakers are again, I'm going to drive to Hollywood and smack him.

I say Hillary should and probably will go home. Though, I wouldn't be sad at all if Trevor goes. Anyone else?