I don't think I can watch another reality show this summer. Someone help me out. What makes it worse is both of these are back for sequel seasons. I think it's time to forgo the TiVo for a few months and just rely on British TV. Ahhh... Life on Mars.
America's Got Talent: Okay, so my first thought when I turned this show on is: WORST PRODUCTION VALUE EVER. It hasn't even actually started and I already don't care. I just wanted to put that out there in case I don't get through two hours of this. Back in a second.
Right. I got five minutes farther and they called Hasselhoff "one of America's greatest entertainment legends" in front of the tune from the Kill Bill trailer. Talk about blasphemy. That's like saying something nice about Gwen Stefani over a bed of Zeppelin or Hendrix. Okay, despite my disgust, I'm really going to try to watch now.
Okay, it's me again. Ten minutes later. This is no different than any search-for-the-best-whatever show. And Hasselhoff just used the word "rubbish." I'm officially done. Sorry. Call me a bad TV writer. I call me a human with a brain.
Drat, and now I've just noticed this is my 300th post. What a waste.
Hell's Kitchen: The things I watch for this blog. Seriously. Somehow, Fox figured out a way to make reality television even more ridiculous. It is not a "saga" as the announcer says. None of the contestants will "wish they were never born." I will also not "tune in next week."
I get it: He's mean. They're learning. The show's editors are clever. And everyone's acting goofy.
I watch enough TV to know what I'm getting from these two presentations, so please excuse me if I don't actually finish watching any of them. I'll pay you back, I swear.
Your Host
- Matthew Falzone
- Neptune, NJ, United States
- Matt is a copy editor for the Asbury Park Press with very little money to spend time doing more than just watching TV and writing about it in his free time.
Latest news
Premiere watch
- The Company, Aug. 5, TNT
- Power of 10, 8 p.m. Aug. 7, CBS
- Fat March, 9 p.m. Aug. 7, ABC
- Flash Gordon, Aug. 10, Sci-Fi
- Californication, Aug.13, Showtime
- Anchorwoman, 8 p.m. Aug. 21, Fox
- The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m. Sept. 11, NBC
- Kitchen Nightmares, 9 p.m. Sept. 13, Fox
- Nashville, 9 p.m. Sept. 14, Fox
- MadTV, 11 p.m. Sept. 15, Fox
- Talk Show with Spike Feresten, midnight Sept. 15, Fox
- Prison Break, 8 p.m. Sept. 17, Fox
- Deal or No Deal, 8 p.m. Sept. 17, NBC
- K-Ville, 9 p.m. Sept. 17, Fox
- Beauty and the Geek, 8 p.m. Sept. 18, CW
- Kid Nation, 8 p.m. Sept. 19, CBS
- Back to You, 8 p.m. Sept. 19, Fox
- Next Top Model, 8 p.m. Sept. 19, CW
- 'Til Death, 8:30 p.m. Sept. 19, Fox
- Bones, 9 p.m. Sept. 19, Fox
- Survivor: China, 8 p.m. Sept. 20, CBS
- 60 Minutes, 7 p.m. Sept. 23, CBS
- CW Now, 7 p.m. Sept. 23, CW
- Online Nation, 7:30 p.m. Sept. 23, CW
- The Simpsons, 8 p.m. Sept. 23, Fox
- King of the Hill, 8:30 p.m. Sept. 23, Fox
- Family Guy, 9 p.m. Sept. 23, Fox
- Cold Case, 9 p.m. Sept. 23, CBS
- Shark, 10 p.m. Sept. 23, CBS
- Dancing with the Stars, 8 p.m. Sept. 24, ABC
- How I Met Your Mother, 8 p.m. Sept. 24, CBS
- The Big Bang Theory, 8:30 p.m. Sept. 24, CBS
- Two and a Half Men, 9 p.m. Sept. 24, CBS
- The Bachelor, 9:30 p.m. Sept. 24, ABC
- Rules of Engagement, 9:30 p.m. Sept. 24, CBS
- Chuck, 8 p.m. Sept. 24, NBC
- Heroes, 9 p.m. Sept. 24, NBC
- Journeyman, 10 p.m. Sept. 24, NBC
- NCIS, 8 p.m. Sept. 25, CBS
- New Amsterdam, 8 p.m. Sept. 25, Fox
- House, 9 p.m. Sept. 25, Fox
- The Unit, 9 p.m. Sept. 25, CBS
- Reaper, 9 p.m. Sept. 25, CW
- The Singing Bee, 9:30 p.m. Sept. 25, NBC
- Law & Order: SVU, 10 p.m. Sept. 25, NBC
- Cane, 10 p.m. Sept. 25, CBS
- Private Practice, 9 p.m. Sept. 26, ABC
- Criminal Minds, 9 p.m. Sept. 26, CBS
- Bionic Woman, 9 p.m. Sept. 26, NBC
- Gossip Girl, 9 p.m. Sept. 26, CW
- Dirty Sexy Money, 10 p.m. Sept. 26, ABC
- CSI: NY, 10 p.m. Sept. 26, CBS
- Life, 10 p.m. Sept. 26, NBC
- Ugly Betty, 8 p.m. Sept. 27, ABC
- My Name is Earl, 8 p.m. Sept. 27, NBC
- Smallville, 8 p.m. Sept. 27, CW
- Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m. Sept. 27, ABC
- CSI, 9 p.m. Sept. 27, CBS
- The Office, 9 p.m. Sept. 27, NBC
- Big Shots, 10 p.m. Sept. 27, ABC
- Without a Trace, 10 p.m. Sept. 27, CBS
- ER, 10 p.m. Sept. 27, NBC
- Ghost Whisperer, 8 p.m. Sept. 28, CBS
- Moonlight, 9 p.m. Sept. 28, CBS
- Las Vegas, 9 p.m. Sept. 28, NBC
- Numbers, 10 p.m. Sept. 28, CBS
- 48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m. Sept. 29, CBS
- Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 7 p.m. Sept. 30, ABC
- Desperate Housewives, 9 p.m. Sept. 30, ABC
- American Dad, 9:30 p.m. Sept. 30, Fox
- Brothers & Sisters, 10 p.m. Sept. 30, ABC
- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3, September, FX
- Everybody Hates Chris, 8 p.m. Oct. 1, CW
- Aliens in America, 8:30 p.m. Oct. 1, CW
- Girlfriends, 9 p.m. Oct. 1, CW
- The Game, 9:30 p.m. Oct. 1, CW
- Cavemen, 8 p.m. Oct. 2, ABC
- Carpoolers, 8:30 p.m. Oct. 2, ABC
- Pushing Daisies, 8 p.m. Oct. 3, ABC
- 30 Rock, 8 p.m. Oct. 4, NBC
- Supernatural, 9 p.m. Oct. 4, CW
- America's Funniest Home Videos, 7 p.m. Oct. 7, ABC
- Life is Wild, 8 p.m. Oct. 7, CW
- Women's Murder Club, 9 p.m. Oct. 12, ABC
- Men in Trees, 10 p.m. Oct. 12, ABC
- Samantha Who?, 9:30 p.m. Oct. 15, ABC
- Viva Laughlin, 10 p.m. Oct. 18, CBS
- American Band, 8 p.m. Oct. 19, Fox
- Scrubs, 9:30 p.m. Oct. 25, NBC
- Nip/Tuck, October, FX
- Cashmiere Mafia, 10 p.m. Nov. 27, ABC
- Battlestar Galactica, Season 4, November, Sci-Fi
Ratings
NIELSEN RATINGS (July 31, 2007)
(AP) - Prime-time viewership numbers compiled by Nielsen Media Research for July 23-29. Listings include the week's ranking, with viewership for the week and season-to-date rankings in parentheses. An "X'' in parentheses denotes a one-time-only presentation.
1. (38) America's Got Talent, NBC, 9.83 million viewers.
2. (33) Singing Bee, NBC, 9.49 million viewers.
3. (6) CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CBS, 9.34 million viewers.
4. (46) So You Think You Can Dance (Thursday), Fox, 9.15 million viewers.
5. (72) Hell's Kitchen, Fox, 8.89 million viewers.
6. (62) Don't Forget the Lyrics (Thursday), Fox, 8.83 million viewers.
7. (19) Two and a Half Men, CBS, 8.79 million viewers.
8. (29) 60 Minutes, CBS, 8.69 million viewers.
9. (X) Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (Monday), Fox, 8.58 million viewers.
10. (X) Shark (Thursday), CBS, 8.19 million viewers.
11. (22) CSI: NY, CBS, 8.04 million viewers.
12. (12) CSI: Miami, CBS, 7.98 million viewers.
13. (19) NCIS, CBS, 7.92 million viewers.
14. (72) Just For Laughs, ABC, 7.87 million viewers.
15. (54) So You Think You Can Dance (Wednesday), Fox, 7.86 million viewers.
16. (22) Criminal Minds, CBS, 7.58 million viewers.
17. (85) Don't Forget the Lyrics (Wednesday), Fox, 7.43 million viewers.
18. (101) The Next Best Thing, ABC, 7.09 million viewers.
19. (101) Big Brother 8 (Thursday), CBS, 7.08 million viewers.
20. (101) Just For Laughs (Tuesday), ABC, 7.01 million viewers.
-------------------------------------------------------------
CABLE NIELSENS (Aug. 1, 2007)
(AP) - Rankings for the top 15 programs on cable networks as compiled by Nielsen Media Research for the week of July 23-29. Day and start time (EDT) are in parentheses.
1. The Closer (Monday, 9 p.m.), TNT, 5.36 million homes, 7.28 million viewers.
2. Saving Grace (Monday, 10 p.m.), TNT, 4.86 million homes, 6.42 million viewers.
3. Auto Racing: NASCAR Nextel Cup (Sunday, 2 p.m.), ESPN, 4.65 million homes, 6.57 million viewers.
4. Movie: Spongebob The Movie (Saturday, 11 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.68 million homes, 4.92 million viewers.
5. Monk (Friday, 9 p.m.), USA, 3.64 million homes, 5.01 million viewers.
6. SpongeBob SquarePants (Saturday, 10:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.63 million homes, 4.95 million viewers.
7. SpongeBob SquarePants (Monday, 5 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.4 million homes, 4.93 million homes.
8. Hannah Montana (Sunday, 8 p.m.), Disney, 3.36 million homes, 4.85 million viewers.
9. SpongeBob SquarePants (Sunday, 11 a.m.), 3.35 million homes, 4.57 million viewers.
10. SpongeBob SquarePants (Saturday, 10 a.m.), 3.33 million homes, 4.48 million viewers.
11. WWE Raw (Monday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.29 million homes, 4.8 million viewers.
12. Cory in the House (Sunday, 8:30 p.m.), Disney 3.27 million homes, 4.59 million viewers.
13. SpongeBob SquarePants (Sunday, 10:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.26 million homes, 4.47 million viewers.
14. SpongeBob SquarePants (Sunday, 11:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.21 million homes, 4.2 million viewers.
15. Movie: High School Musical (Monday, 1 p.m.), Disney, 3.19 million homes, 4.36 million viewers.
Blog Archive
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June
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- What's on: Friday
- Quick reviews
- What's on: Thursday
- De Niro plays the bull...
- House on fire
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- I have no more clever Lot headlines...
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- What's on: Monday
- Theater of the mindless
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- In the bank
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- Dumb
- Best of the Lot
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- Late night bores
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- Put your Close back on
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- Quick reviews
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- Your summer savior
- Lots to say
- Oops
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- Cin city
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- Salud
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- ABC performs Burkectomy
- Walls back up
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- Not to be Standoffish...
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- Payne, lack of innovation and ... well, just read.
- What's on: Wednesday
- Real crap
- I'm getting tips now...
- Direct to TV...
- Quick review
- What's on: Tuesday
- The long con
- What's on: Monday
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- Sorry geeks.
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2 comments:
When I read that quote about Hasselhoff being "one of America's greatest entertainment legends", I got this awesome mental image of Zombie Johnny Carson rising up from his grave to go feast on the brains of whoever was dumb enough to say that.
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