Too much lasagna?

ABC just announced that former Sopranos lieutenant Vincent Pastore is dropping out of "Dancing with the Stars," before the show has even started. Pastore, 60, "after one week of training ... came to the decision that the physical demands of a ten-week season would be too difficult for him to undertake," according to a release from ABC.

"When I initially committed to joining Dancing with the Stars, I didn't realize just how physically demanding it would be for me. Unable to put forth my best effort, I felt it appropriate to step aside and give someone else the opportunity," Pastore said in the release.

What's on: Wednesday

Tyra's back with the two-hour premiere of AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (CW/8 p.m.), taking a real chance going up against American Idol -- which will eat up probably 99 percent of its viewers.

Meanwhile, in its never-ending quest to beat Lost (again... it won a few weeks ago for the first time) CSI: NY (CBS/10 p.m.) continues the parade of guest stars with magician Criss Angel. Not that I'm recommending this over a new Lost...

More magic? Kimmel has Ricky Jay

Also new: ABC's George Lopez, Knights of Prosperity, According to Jim, In Case of Emergency and Lost; Jericho and Criminal Minds on CBS; FOX's American Idol takes over for another hour and a half... with another new episode of Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader; Medium, Deal or No Deal and Friday Night Lights on NBC; Naked Trucker & T-bones on Comedy; Futurecars on Discovery; Sit Down Comedy on TVLAND (Robin Williams guests)

Idol... on time!

That's right, my night off and nothing to do. So I've got the Idol report a bit early this evening. It's the guys again, which, after last week... couldn't be worse... could it?

Plus, since I'm an Idol veteran now, I can buzz through the show with very little trouble. Don't care about backstories, don't care about interviews with Seacrest. So here goes.

If you're like me and you don't like Phil Stacey, this evening's performance probably didn't change your mind either. If the audience hadn't been coached I don't think he'd have sounded as successful or "likable" as he came off. In fact, I'm sure I'll forget he's even in the contest... AGAIN... until next week. Jared Cotter's take on Marvin Gaye was much better than I expected from him, not to mention ridiculously gutsy. When I heard Seacrest tease it, I was worried, but he did exactly what the judges have been saying and took a huge chance. I think it paid off.

AJ Tabaldo had another achievement, however, he was horrid two weeks in a row. The song had absolutely no flair. I went back and watched it again to see what the judges were talking about when they praised him... I just didn't see it. America, if you decide to keep him around for the next week, please at least add a signing statement mandating he not dance.

Sanjaya Malakar, with his Diet Michael Jackson look, improved on last week. I don't think it matters he's picking more vintage tunes, despite the judges' criticisms. He came out of his vocal shell a bit more this week, too, which I'm happy with. I just worry how he'll fare in the later rounds.

Chris Sligh also made some strides, though I wouldn't exactly say his song was amazing, but he put on the best vocal performance so far tonight. Nice smoky jazz club tune from Nick Pedro, but even though he sounded great, he looks like every cat from Long Island and he needs to stand out a lot more.

Soon as the piano line kicked in I was proud of Blake Lewis, who did everything right, except maybe hit a few notes. Great song and a bunch of energy. (Note to Simon: that's a hard song to be original with, as original as Jamiroquai is).

But oh, oh dear, Brandon Rogers. Cyndi Lauper does not suit you. I offer a plea to my few readers not to fault him for the tune he just did for his gramma. He's among the best there, but he fell off REAL far against some really stiff competition. In the interest of saying something nice... nice... um... nice shirt, dude? Chris Richardson came off a ton better getting to follow Brandon. I'm not really a fan, and I don't think he was necessarily the best like Simon said.

Sundance got to close the show, a slot that he actually deserved this week. Probably the first good performance (we've seen) from him since the initial auditions.

I must address the dedications they all were probably coached into. Each one makes the one before it seem less and less sincere and provide none of the insight into these guys that they're supposed to. It irks me that America falls for this cheese. If it were me up there (aside from making the mistake of choosing songs no one watching the show would recognize) I'd dedicate my song to my dog. That'd get some votes from the over-50 demographic...

Side note: The characters the judges have created for themselves are more disingenuous than the contestants' dedications were.

In summation:
Thumbs up: Jared Cotter, Nick Pedro, Blake Lewis
OK: Phil Stacey, Sanjaya Malakar, Chris Sligh, Chris Richardson, Sundance Head
Thumbs down: AJ Tabaldo, Brandon Rogers

Should go home: AJ and Phil
Will go home: AJ and Brandon

What's on: Tuesday (a newsy ABC)

While I'm not happy that it takes Boston Legal off the table for the week, It's admirable that ABC can devote the lion's share of their Tuesday prime time to real issues and not just entertainment. First, there's PRIMETIME: THE OUTSIDERS (ABC/9 p.m.) which will revisit the story they did in Newark a few months ago -- a look at children being raised by their grandparents -- this time in in Delaware.

It's followed by veteran newsman Bob Woodruff's TO IRAQ AND BACK: BOB WOODRUFF REPORTS (10 p.m.), what ABC is billing as "his first on-air reporting since being severely injured by a roadside bomb in Iraq last January." He'll talk about his injury and recovery; servicemen and the news crew that was there, as well as Woodruff's wife also will discuss the incident and what's happened since.

Premiering tonight is Fox's ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER (9:30 p.m.), the Jeff Foxworthy-hosted game show.

Also new: An hour and a half of American Idol (still no House); CBS' NCIS and The Unit; Dateline and Law Order: CI and SVU on NBC; Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars on CW; Dirt on FX; Real Housewives of Orange County on BRAVO; Road Rules on MTV; and Miami Ink on TLC; Dirty Jobs and two episodes of Survive This on Discovery; The Agency on VH1.

What's on: Monday

Because it has a lot to live up to, having stolen Studio 60 away from us (at least for the time being), reader, I'm pointing the spotlight squarely at THE BLACK DONNELLYS (NBC/10 p.m.) premiering tonight. This lucky little show gets a Heroes lead-in that anyone in the biz would kill for. Don't get me wrong, I'm as interested in the show as the next guy, I'm just holding a little grudge. I have a feeling it'll do well and you'll see news reports late Tuesday on how it held its own against CSI: Miami.

If you didn't get enough Oprah with last week's Oscar special, she's back tonight with BUILDING A DREAM: THE OPRAH WINFREY LEADERSHIP ACADEMY (ABC/10 p.m.), a little doc on the building of her school for disadvantaged girls in South Africa, which took five years to get done (the school, not the documentary). Interesting placement for this show at 10 p.m., but I guess ABC didn't want to spare prime competition time in the 8 p.m. slot, where something like this would usually end up in years past.

Also, Daily Show and Colbert are back from their week off.

Also new: How I Met Your Mother, The Class, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement and CSI: Miami on CBS; Deal or No Deal and Heroes on NBC; Wife Swap and Supernanny on ABC; Everybody Hates Chris, All of Us, Girlfriends and The Game on CW; FOX's Prison Break and 24; Discovery's Futureweapons; some Super Sweet 16 (in original and remix flavors) and Dance Life on MTV; ABC Family's Wildfire; The White Rapper Show on VH1.

Live, from the Quahog, R.I., community center...

It's Stewie and Brian with the premiere of their new talk show Up Late!

Fox announced the 10-minute flash webisode will begin streaming at 8 p.m. tonight on myspace.com and include an appearance by celebrity guest Rob Corddry. The whole thing's a promo for not only Family Guy, but Seth MacFarlane's new production, The Winner, in which Corddry stars and which premieres March 4 at 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. (see earlier blog on the show here for more or keep an eye on the sidebar for premiere info).

Not a bad move putting some eggs in the Internet basket on Oscar night to see what kind of viewership can be achieved on a different platform (like movie ticket sales on Christmas Day).

"As a studio we need to capitalize on emerging platforms for the marketing of our series," Fox TV President Dana Walden said in the studio's release. "We created an environment ripe for parody where the stars of the two shows could comedically interact."

NO, it has nothing to do with Kevin Bacon

If you read the blog at all, then you know how I feel about characters and how important they are to a show. Well, good news from ABC: Six Degrees will return with original episodes in a new time slot, 9 p.m. Fridays, after what is now a Grey's Anatomy rerun every week. That's, I believe, the same lead-in it had previously... when it didn't do wonderfully. The network said it will return March 23. The show is exec-produced by Lost/Alias genius J.J. Abrams.

The show focuses on how a group of people in New York City interact and affect each others' lives, whether knowingly or unknowingly -- among them the single mom whose husband, a journalist, was killed in Iraq (Hope Davis); the limo driver who's just started his own service but can't shake his past as a gang banger (Dorian Missick); and the brilliant photographer fresh off a bender (Campbell Scott) who's fighting his principles to work for an ad agency and fighting his ex-wife to see his son.

It's a show about personal demons and how these people are doing their damnedest to beat them. There's no explosions and there's only been one shooting -- it's not an action-filled show, but it's a TV drama that's not too mushy or skewed toward women (Men in Trees, Brothers & Sisters).

The network also announced the premiere of October Road, which will take over Men in Trees' time slot at 10 p.m. Thursdays starting March 15. According to the release, "October Road centers on the young, popular author, Nick Garrett, who is at a crossroads in his life. To get over his writer's block, he goes back to his hometown and must now face the family and friends he has avoided for the past ten years. Once back home on October Road, he quickly discovers that the circle of friends whose teenage lives he wrote about have trouble forgiving him for leaving them behind, and that his ex-girlfriend, Hannah Daniels, may have had his child."

If I got screener copies from the nets I'd give you more insight... but alas, I'm stuck with press releases.

What's on: Sunday

There aren't many people looking to challenge the 79TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS (ABC/8:30 p.m.). Probably best to TiVo and then start fast forwarding through the boring parts about 10 p.m. Ellen DeGeneres isn't a bad comic, so I'm curious to see her host.

AMAZING RACE ALL-STARS (CBS/8 p.m.) is banking that you don't care about the first half-hour of the Oscars (thereby missing Ellen's monologue and probably the best-supporting awards). It's not a bad move on their part since there's really almost nothing else new tonight.

Third chair goes to THE L WORD (SHO/10 p.m.) premiering tonight for its fourth season.

On that note, also new is NBC's Grease: You're the One That I Want and Crossing Jordan (the 10 p.m. one, not the 9 p.m. rerun); MTV's True Life (I'm in Debt) and I'm From Rolling Stone; Dresden Files and Battlestar Galactica. Jimmy Kimmel's doing a live, post-awards show... and... yeah, that's it.

What's on: Friday

New tonight: 20/20 (after a Grey's Anatomy rerun) on ABC; Ghost Whisperer, Close to Home and Numb3rs on CBS; Fox realities Nanny 911 and Trading Spouses; 1 vs. 100, Las Vegas and Law Order on NBC; Friday Night Smackdown on CW; Monk and Psych on USA.

...In which Matt gets visibly annoyed at America.

*SPOILER ALERT*
I OWE YOU THE WARNING THAT THERE'RE SOME UNPROTECTED SPOILERS REGARDING AMERICAN IDOL BELOW. IF YOU CONTINUE TO SCROLL NEITHER I NOR THE ASBURY PARK PRESS CAN BE HELD RESPONSIBLE. NOW GO BACK TO YOUR TIVO AND WATCH SO YOU CAN READ MY AWESOME BLOG.

Sorry for all the caps. Felt I again needed to warn people. So happy am I that these things called results shows are so very short and padded, cuz I'm sleepy here at 2:30 a.m. It also doesn't help that I already knew what happened, so, there being no drama, I was able to flip quickly through the show.

Here's where I say that THIS is the reason (not the 30 others I've rattled off to you before) that I dislike American Idol: because America votes like it's a second-grade student council election. They don't look at the show and say, "YOU'RE GOOD, you should stay," they say, "YOU'RE PRETTY, you should stay" or "YOU'RE MY FRIEND, you should stay."

Honestly, of the four who went home, only maybe one REALLY deserved it -- Rudy Cardenas.
Paul Kim wasn't terrible on Tuesday, but he certainly wasn't great. As I've said, I hate his awful, breathy faux R&B voice. He was better than a bunch of the other guys, though. Amy Krebs just picked the wrong time to be safe Wednesday. I dug her, and she probably should have stayed in place of a few of the others. Nicole Tranquillo -- same thing... enjoyed her on Wednesday. She's better than others that are still there. (Seeing a pattern here?) Ya'll know how I feel about Rudy Cardenas. You sing better than me, dude, but nowhere near on par for this competition.

In review: America, pay attention... you've seen what happens when you don't. Look at Pennsylvania Avenue. Stop banding together so your buddy or the cute guy gets farther in the competition. There's seriously a difference between being subjective or bias and just being inane. I'm sure we'll have this conversation again, the show's on until May, and this won't be the last time someone squeezes through with no real reasoning. But, having never watched the show before this season, I feel a responsibility to go through this rant that I'm sure every Idol fan has before.

Now there's second chances for the likes of Antonella Barba, Leslie Hunt, Alaina Alexander, Sundance Head, Sanjaya Malakar and A.J. Tabaldo. Though not one of them deserved it, America. Shame on you. To you lucky ones: No clean slate kids -- you now have a responsibility to rock people's faces. To the others who stayed: Sing these jokers into the ground. That's an order.

"Idol" oustings (*SPOILERS*)

I cannot stress enough that you should not continue reading if you're waiting to watch the show. That being said, I haven't even watched yet, being still at work, but I thought some people looking for a bit of news would be interested. From AP:

SERIOUSLY THERE'RE SPOILERS BELOW -- IN THE VERY NEXT GRAF -- AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WHITE THEM OUT. SO STOP READING IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING AMERICAN IDOL TO FIND OUT WHO WAS KICKED OFF. DO YOU FEEL I'VE DONE ENOUGH WARNING?

NEW YORK -- Four saw the door as American Idol whittled its 24 semifinalists down to 20 Thursday night. Amy Krebs, Nicole Tranquillo, Paul Kim and Rudy Cardenas were cast off by viewers getting their first chance to vote in the top-rated talent contest's sixth season.

The two dozen aspiring singers -- 12 men and 12 women -- who faced off this week had made it through the show's early auditions and last week's tense and tearful opening Hollywood rounds.

Kim, a 25-year-old from Saratoga, Calif., was the first one cut on Thursday after failing to impress even Paula Abdul with his rendition of "Careless Whisper."

"It hurts, man," Kim told Ryan Seacrest. "It hurts."

The elimination of 22-year-old Krebs, who sang Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me," proves that it helps to stand out in the crowd. "She didn't sing that badly, she just didn't make an impression," noted Simon Cowell, who said Wednesday that the Federal Way, Wash., resident had "the personality of a candle."

Cowell also criticized Tranquillo, a 20-year-old from Philadelphia, for her "over-rehearsed" cover of Chaka Khan's "Stay." Abdul, though, had some kind words.

"You're a brilliant vocalist," she told Tranquillo, who was holding back tears. "You really are."

Abdul was also a fan of Cardenas, 28, who is from Los Angeles. She praised his falsetto as "amazing," even though Cowell called him an "OK singer."

Thursday's show also featured a performance by third-season winner Fantasia Barrino, who announced she will star as Celie in the Oprah Winfrey-produced musical "The Color Purple" on Broadway. She will join the show April 10.

I'm sort of annoyed at nearly all of these picks, but more on that later...

Bye bye "O.C."

Because I've never watched the show, nor did I ever care to, and I didn't even think to write about its finale, going on as I type, I direct you to TV.com's farewell to FOX's short-lived teen drama, The O.C. (expect me to be more vigilant in the future):

The sun is finally setting on the Cohen clan and their moneyed Newport Beach associates tonight as Fox's The O.C. ends its four-season run. After skyrocketing to pop-phenomenon status during its summer 2003 debut, the series, focusing on a group of friends and families whose lives were changed by the arrival of an outsider (Benjamin McKenzie), suffered from a succession of timeslot shuffles and, in the eyes of many, creative slumps that steadily cost the teen soap ratings until the network ultimately decided to pull the plug this year.

So far this season, the show is averaging about 4.1 million total viewers, less than half of what it garnered during its debut season, according to Nielsen Media Research. Last season it averaged 5.7 million.

Like Beverly Hills, 90210 a decade earlier, The O.C. became the barometer of cool for a generation of tweens and teens weaned on dozens of iterations of MTV and reality television programming.

*snip*

"This feels like the best time to bring the show to its close," said O.C. creator/executive producer Josh Schwartz, according to The Hollywood Reporter/Reuters. "Thanks to the hard work of our cast, crew and writers, we have enjoyed our best season yet, and what better time to go out than creatively on top."

As I said, vigilance is my new motto. Next time, I promise a full-fledged obituary.

Making "Grey's" a little darker

Seriously, why take one of the best characters on one of your headlining shows and move them out in before season four even starts shooting? Is it money? If you say it's money I'll start throwing things... from tv.com:

Taye Diggs will star opposite Kate Walsh in ABC's potential spinoff from hit medical drama Grey's Anatomy. The show will test the waters as a back-door pilot, an expanded two-hour episode of Grey's slated to air in May.

It will center on neonatal surgeon Addison Shepherd (Walsh), a character who has enjoyed a strong following from fans since she was introduced at the end of the hot surgical drama's first season.

It is understood that the back-door pilot episode will feature Shepherd on the verge of leaving Seattle Grace, a scenario that will be triggered if ABC goes with the spinoff for next season. There were no details on the character Diggs will play.

Grey's creator/executive producer Shonda Rhimes is writing the episode and is expected to shepherd the potential series. Meanwhile, Rhimes' other ABC pilot, about female journalists, has been pushed to a summer production start.

Diggs' casting in the Grey spinoff stems from a new talent holding deal he recently signed with ABC TV Studio, where Grey's Anatomy is based. He starred in two drama series for the studio, Kevin Hill for UPN and Day Break for ABC.

Addison can't carry a whole series and, as mentioned, Taye Diggs is TV anthrax. Find her another series if you want, ABC. Just don't do this. Can anyone name a spinoff other than Frasier that's worked in the past 15 years?

Another reason to dislike capitalism

If you don't already own a DVR, there are a few selling points that the companies will use... but more than anything, the ability to fast-forward through commercials was the one that grabbed me. (Tape my favorite show, and watch it straight through? I'm in!)

So on odd day when I'm watching a show and also doing something else... like typing a blog... nothing irks me more than when an ad for a CD comes on.

Gone are the days that you'd hear a dong on the radio and go out to find the record (radio has taken care of that by becoming so completely useless); gone are the days where you made a tape of your favorite tune from your friend's copy and ran it into the ground... now you see a commercial during a Scrubs rerun and because they just replay the hook over and over and over and spend little time on visual production you're supposed to run out and buy the new Beck CD.

Well, I'm not buying it. And now I have "I Think I'm in Love" stuck in my head... just the hook... good job capitalism.

What's on: Thursday

Look for 30 ROCK (NBC/9:30 p.m.) to continue to get better and better on the shoulders of Alec Baldwin's continually genius performances. This week he and writer/performer Josh (Lonny Ross) square off over a contract.

Also, if you like this sorta thing, there's the OPRAH WINFREY OSCAR SPECIAL (ABC/10 p.m.). Ms. Media Mastermind has stars doing the interviewing with Julia Roberts q'ing George Clooney, Nicole Kidman talking to Russell Crowe, and Jamie Foxx talking with Sidney Poitier.

Also new: Grey's Anatomy on ABC; Survivor, CSI and Shark on CBS; American Idol's results show and The O.C. on FOX; NBC's Earl, Office, Scrubs and ER; Comedy Central's Sarah Silverman Program; and USA's Nashville Star.

The girls were WAILIN'

Editor's note: Matt's made it much farther than we expected, as he continues his travails through American Idol's sixth season.

TiVo, I'm convinced, was expressly created for those of us who don't really want to watch American Idol. The show works well when you can control how much you watch. Now, please don't take that the wrong way... it sounds like I'm being down on the show, but I'm enjoying this much more than I could have ever expected... I just don't need to watch two full hours.

So tonight, I've watched the performances and the judges' comments, even (shudder to think) skipping over most of the Seacrest. Here's how the ladies did...

STEPHANIE EDWARDS: Her song started out drab and she put her vocal aerobics ahead of her singing. She outsang herself, I think. She's definitely a performer, as Paula just said, but she wasn't as entertaining as the judges said.

AMY KREBS: I dug her a lot more than I remember in the opening rounds, where I was pretty unimpressed with the women. I think she could have picked something that would have showcased her voice a bit more. I like the fact that Randy and Paula agreed with what I just typed.

LESLIE HUNT: I figured I'd get a silly crush on one of the women early on. And I can't even say it ended when she started singing (even though it probably should have). I'm not sure I'll have to worry about that after tomorrow night, though. I concur completely with Simon that she looked uncomfortable.

SABRINA SLOAN: Girl ROCKED it. Serious voice and I'd be scared if I were in the competition with her. Almost a poor ending, but now I want to see her do a rock song so I can officially join the bandwagon.

ANTONELLA BARBA: I'm not supposed to be rooting against the hometown girl, but it's really rough when you're trying to get a paper out and you still don't have a story about her with very little time left. Either way, I don't really think she did that well at all. She recovered a few times really well, but when you can't live up to Steven Tyler's raspy, drugged-out voice, you may have to find a different sort of competition. I thought she was better earlier. I agree with Simon that she's probably out.

JORDIN SPARKS: I liked it a lot. Not the best so far, but not anywhere near the worst. Better than all the guys, and MAN did she end strong.

(Halfway thorough, I'm hoping someone comes up with a song that has a bit of tempo to it at some point this evening.)

NICOLE TRANQUILLO: Nice funky song choice. She's another one that deserves to stick around for a while. It was nice to see energy. I can tell you before even hearing them that the judges are gonna give her crap (Randy did -- I can see how he and Simon thought it was outside her genre).

HALEY SCARNATO: She hit all the notes she needed to, but man that was boring. Cute smile, but no personality at all. Watch out if she picks things up though, she could take over.

MELINDA DOLITTLE: I knew I could count on her for some tempo. She's got a vintage sound to her that I've got no problem with at all. Another one who'll make things hard on the guys. I hope she's not a one trick pony.

ALAINA ALEXANDER: I expected quite a bit more from her than the bar band tune she turned out. She's better than that... and she'll need to do better if she's gonna stick around.

GINA GLOCKSEN: She showed off her voice a bit at the end, but not enough to overcome a droll beginning. She's got more personality than her song shows... and it didn't help that she brought out ANOTHER Celine Dion tune. I was rooting for her, too. I'll keep rooting, but, c'mon.

LAKISHA JONES: I read the story before I saw the show, so I was already aware she stole it right out from under everyone. I'm not a fan of the sentimental favorite in any competition, so you won't see me cheering her on, but... in all seriousness... WOW.

Thumbs up: Amy Krebs, Sabrina Sloan, Jordin Sparks, Nicole Tranquillo, Melinda Dolittle, LaKisha Jones.
OK: Stephanie Edwards, Haley Scarnato, Gina Glocksen.
Thumbs down: Leslie Hunt, Antonella Barba, Alaina Alexander.

Hometown girl's goin' home Jersey Shore. No doubt about it. Unless you got those fingers a'dialing. But if our overpopulated state is even able to save her, I'd be surprised. You'll probably see Leslie go home, too.

I'm going to admit it right now, I'm hooked. The guys were significantly unimpressive, but to see some of these ladies square off for the rest of the season's going to be a treat. Now I just have to find room in my TiVo schedule for what'll probably be a useless results show Thursday.

Fantasia to perform tomorrow...

Seacrest teased it last night, but if you're looking for the news before the big reveal on tonight's women's competition of Idol, I've got it for you.

FOX announced earlier today that Idol's season three winner, Fantasia, will perform live and make a special announcement on the results show tomorrow (Thursday). Four contestants, two women and two men, will be going home as well.

I'm not exactly the one to be speculating about the announcement, but I'm sure it's got something to do with a new release of some sort.

Dance-dance revolution

ABC announced the "celebrity" cast for it's smash Dancing with the Stars, which comes back March 19. I promise I shan't be crusading to see the whole season of THIS show. My feelings aside, it is a big announcement... the network dropped the news today on Good Morning America.

Laila Ali, undefeated world champion female boxer and youngest daughter of sports legend Muhammad Ali; Singer/songwriter/actor and star of Disney Channel's Hannah Montana Billy Ray Cyrus; Former Portland Trailblazer Clyde Drexler; former *NSYNC-er Joey Fatone; Miss USA 2004 Shandi Finnessey; ET's former host Leeza Gibbons; Heather Mills; Apolo Anton Ohno, two-time Olympic gold medal winner; The Sopranos Vincent Pastore; Paulina Prizkova, the former face of Estee Lauder; and 90210's Ian Ziering.

ABC's also promoting an interview with Leeza Gibbons tonight on Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05 a.m.).

What's on: Wednesday

Since what I suggested to you last week was a mere clip show, I submit to you again: JERICHO (CBS/8 p.m.). Flashback to the day before the nuclear attack on the United States, and finally get some backstory on Jake (at least why he was headed home to Jericho) and Hawkins. The question is, will CBS' serial have the guts to give real answers.

Stay on CBS through CSI: NY (10 p.m.) which, in an attempt to forward its characters a little bit, has unearthed the does-she-have-AIDS gimmick for Stella (i.e. ER, circa 1996 et. al.). More interesting? Golden Globe nominee Judd Nelson (The Breakfast Club) guest stars while some of the detectives investigate the death of a man named Noah... who has a big boat in his yard.

ABC's George Lopez, Knights of Prosperity and Lost; Criminal Minds on CBS; FOX's American Idol takes over for another two hours; Medium, Deal or No Deal and Friday Night Lights on NBC; Beauty and the Geek's reunion show and One Tree Hill on CW; Top Design on Bravo.

So THIS is "American Idol"

Editor's note: So the competition has begun as Matt continues his crusade to watch an entire season of American Idol. Now he gets to criticize specific people, instead of the show's producers...

For the first ridiculous month of this show, I suppose this is what I've been waiting for. The live studio audience, the audience voting, the extra few minutes of Seacrest (who has no improv skills). Actual competition.

Except for the padding. We need to fill two hours, so let's spend 15 minutes out of every half hour with what's already happened to the guys over the past month of excruciating television or interviewing them about their experience so far.

Anyway, before I get into these performances, I'll say this once for the rest of the round: This show is not permeated by the type of tunes I would really ever rock on my iPod. But I was significantly curious to see what a pop music contest actually means. Here's what I thought:

Rudy Cardenas: I agree with Randy that it was a corny performance, and I wasn't as disappointed in his voice as Simon.

Brandon Rogers: Not half bad at all. Judges didn't like him, and I wasn't blown away, but it's nice there's a lil' bit of soul to get this started.

Sundance Head: Lucky to be where he is, I was really high on this guy after his audition, where they played him up big, but the performance tonight was just as bad as Hollywood turned out for him. Horrible song, too, for the record.

Paul Kim: I don't like this guy's bassy, breathy R&B tone. He started off better than I expected, but he fell off through the song, which may have outshined him.

Chris Richardson: Don't call Timberlake an artist, first of all -- so he'd already lost me before he even started. Nice to see a little bit of energy, but I think he was really helped by the backup band. (I think Simon agreed with me).

Nick Pedro: Watch next time he stands next to Seacrest, they have the same smile. I kinda liked his tune, and I'm glad Simon backed me up. Slow, yes, but not as annoying as Randy and Paula treated it.

Blake Lewis (the beatbox guy): At the very least, his hair should carry him two weeks. He's not that bad on the mic, and though I think he picked the wrong point in the show to pick yet ANOTHER slow song (I'm glad he didn't hit the beatbox), he's got nothing to worry about.

Sanjaya Malakar: Seeing him talk makes him seem only a little less like a cutesy little kid, which I think is his worst trait. He's got a great voice, but he needs some serious energy if he plans on sticking around. SERIOUS energy. He'd have had no problems on Star Search, but the drug companies hadn't created A.D.D. back then.

Chris Sligh: He picked a song with a bit more oomph behind it, and he started out singing way too hard. He rocked it, but I think he's too much of a fan/judge favorite, and his voice will never be able to live up to that pressure.

Jared Cotter: Despite the corny song, he's the best so far. No doubt. 'Course the judges disagree. But considering the rest of them, he was my favorite.

A.J. Tabaldo: Well, he could work in Vegas... I'm saying which venue though. Big fat blech from me, but Simon's not wrong with his "better than I originally thought."

Phil Stacey: When he stopped moaning and started singing, he definitely earned a pass, but the opening was so drab and painful...

More than likely, you'll see Sundance and Sanjaya go home. That's only my opinion, of course. The show really wore me out and parts felt like a karaoke bar more than Fox television. I'm more than likely going to be fast-forwarding through all the banter from now on. Without all that, the show's much more interesting than it looked from my too-cool-for-the-room pedestal. I can see how, as soon as I can remember all their names, watercooler talk will be no problem.

In review:
Thumbs up: Brandon Rogers, Nick Pedro, Blake Lewis, Chris Sligh, Jared Cotter
OK: Paul Kim, Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey
Thumbs down: Rudy Cardenas, Sundance Head, Sanjaya Malakar, A.J. Tabaldo

And Paula gets three lime twists out of four.

What's on: Tuesday

Out of principal for Fox holding House off the air, I can't suggest American Idol. Its really sad to see where the network's priorities are, and I sort of hope House's audience eventually rebels.

That being said, I give you GILMORE GIRLS (CW/8 p.m.) which is getting all Gilmore-Girly with the Lorelai/Chris/Luke angle since breaking the newlyweds up over the past two weeks. Emily's (Kelly Bishop) been on fire in the same timeframe with Richard's (Edward Herrmann) heart attack, and Logan's (Matt Czuchry) actually been tolerable.

Also, I again submit DIRT (FX/10 p.m.). Not only does this network come up with quality programming before releasing it, it knows what needs to be done to keep people interested: Character development. This show has one of the most, if not the most interesting characters on TV in Don the schizophrenic tabloid photographer, not taking anything away from the rest of the cast. Paul Reubens is in the midst of an awesome guest arc as well (at least, I think he's still there...).

Also new: Two hours of American Idol on Fox; CBS' NCIS and The Unit; Primetime and Boston Legal on ABC; Dateline and Law Order: CI and SVU on NBC; Veronica Mars on CW; Dirt on FX; Real Housewives of Orange County on BRAVO; Bam's Unholy Union on MTV; and Miami Ink on TLC; Dirty Jobs and Survive This on Discovery.

What's on: Monday

So here's the deal. The only thing you should be watching tonight is STUDIO 60 (10 p.m.). I'm not even joking around when I say this. After tonight it goes on "hiatus" in favor of The Black Donnellys (nice looking show, don't get me wrong), and that's never good. Ratings have been slumping for Studio 60... even more not good. But this is, without a doubt, the best of the new shows that have been added this year, and if you're not watching, NBC will stop caring. And that would be sad.

Also new: How I Met Your Mother, The Class, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement and CSI: Miami on CBS; Deal or No Deal and Heroes on NBC; Wife Swap, Supernanny and What About Brian on ABC; Everybody Hates Chris, All of Us, Girlfriends and The Game on CW; FOX's Prison Break and 24; ABC Family's Wildfire; Diana Ross on Bravo's Inside the Actor's Studio; Discovery's Stunt Junkies; My Super Sweet 16 and Engaged and Underage on MTV; I Love New York and The White Rapper Show on VH1

I'm a real TV critic!

Well, not really, but thanks to the magic of the Internet I've gotten a sneak peak at Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane's new show, The Winner. They're streaming episodes through the Family Guy Web site here. There're four episodes available... only catch is the FOX video player is pretty crappy.

It's definitely well done, as one would expect from MacFarlane, who deserves the acclaim he's gotten. Family Guy and American Dad are both on my watch-before-going-to-bed list when I get home from work on Sundays. Daily Show goof Rob Corddry has always been among that show's best and you can tell that their personalities work extremely well together.

Corddry's 30-year-old dweeb Glen and his relationship with his best friend 13-year-old Josh, played by Keir Gilchrist, are the basis of the show, and their interaction is genius. The opening episode (on the site anyway) has them both having freak-outs before dates where they each expect to be getting lucky for the first time (Glen with Josh's mom, Josh with the new girl at school). Somehow, Glen ends up at Josh's school declaring his worries to the entire hallway, to which Josh suggests he find someone to practice with.

What seems like a catalyst for some obvious jokes and sitcom situations are nowhere NEAR that thanks to these two, and Corddry succeeds where ex-Daily Show-er Steve Carrell, I think, blew it in The 40-year-old Virgin, which was cute, but suffered by not having the hilarious writing that Winner does. (Lesson: Let Seth write movies!... can someone e-mail this to him? I could use a job in Hollywood.)

Helping the show out even more is its setting in the mid-1990s, even though it's only peripheral, it's a little tidbit aimed directly at the 20-something Family Guy/American Dad audience that laughs at all the pop culture references in those shows, myself included. Another plus is the cast of characters MacFarlane's got surrounding the two leads, including Glen's cliche video store co-workers and his parents (Rescue Me's Lenny Clarke is Glen's dad).

More than anything, though, the friendship between the two is the most important part of the show. It's strong, and even a little endearing, if not a little creepy. I could rattle off a list of the gags in the first repisode that had me rolling, but that would be doing the show a disservice. WATCH IT! Now.

A sad, sad day...

From Hollywood Reporter:

Hit the mute button for a moment of silence: The co-inventor of the TV remote has died.

Robert Adler, who won an Emmy Award along with fellow engineer Eugene Polley for the device that made couch potatoship possible, died Thursday of heart failure at a Boise nursing home at 93, Zenith Electronics Corp. said Friday.

In his six-decade career with Zenith, Adler was a prolific inventor, earning more than 180 U.S. patents. He was best known for his 1956 Zenith Space Command remote control, which helped make TV a truly sedentary pastime.

The National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences awarded Adler and co-inventor Polley, another Zenith engineer, an Emmy in 1997 for the landmark invention.

Adler joined Zenith's research division in 1941 after earning a doctorate in physics from the University of Vienna. He retired as research vice president in 1979, and served as a technical consultant until 1999, when Zenith merged with LG Electronics Inc.

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office published his most recent patent application, for advances in touch screen technology, on Feb. 1.

Adler is survived by his wife, Ingrid.

Link here. If anyone deserves more coverage than Anna Nicole Smith, it's this guy. 'Course, he won't get it. True genius is never really recognized.

Later on, bro.

Snoogans.

I'm alternately excited and unsure... from Variety.com:

In what will be his first gig directing a TV pilot, Kevin Smith has signed on to helm Reaper, the supernatural-themed CW drama from exec producer Mark Gordon (Grey's Anatomy).

CW drama chief Thom Sherman has lined up several other major TV and feature helmers for the net's first full slate of drama pilots, including James Frawley and brothers Josh and Jonah Pate, as well as the previously announced Rod Lurie and Mark Piznarski.

Smith will begin lensing next month on Reaper, an ABC Television Studio-produced hour about a 21-year-old slacker who ends up becoming Satan's bounty hunter, retrieving souls lost from Hell.

While Smith hasn't directed a TV pilot, he's not a complete stranger to the medium. He adapted his pic Clerks as a short-lived animated show for ABC that he exec produced.

Hopefully the network lets Kevin inject as much of his personality into the show as he can. It scored with Smallville, which no one probably expected, so a Kevin Smith series should be cake. I can't wait. Full story here.

FOX reups two quality shows

I'm a little late posting this on the main blog, but it's still good news even if it isn't exactly news... or surprising... from Zap2it.com:

FOX's House and Bones were never in any jeopardy, but the network made things official Friday, renewing the popular dramas for the 2007-08.

Bones, which stars Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz, has been picked up for a third season, while House, featuring two-time Golden Globe winner Hugh Laurie, will be back for a fourth run.

In addition to its slew of Emmy and Globe wins, House is the FOX's top-rated drama overall, and ranks at network TV's No. 3 scripted series among adults 18-49 and No. 2 among adults 18-34 and teens. The medical drama has averaged 17.4 million viewers, a number that has only soared higher thanks to an infusion of American Idol viewers.

The American Idol halo effect (but not a lead-in) has also benefited Bones, which has averaged 8.8 million viewers for the season, but brought in 12.6 million earlier this week. Bones has averaged a 3.1 rating for the season in the key 18-49 demo, but this week's episode did a 4.4 rating.

Here's hoping I have more time to watch Bones next season and House stays fresh and relevant.

What's on: Friday

It's Friday, so here's Matt saying "Watch Monk and Psych" and here's the reader being nonplussed and not commenting on the fact that "That's what you ALWAYS say on Friday Matt."

Well, there's a problem with that, because Monk's a rerun. But watch PSYCH (USA/10 p.m.) of course. Then check out LAS VEGAS (NBC/9 p.m.) which is unspectacular, but endlessly entertaining. That was backwards, but you get the idea.

And this is the last time I suggest anything on Fridays, 'cuz it's always so bleak anyway.

Also new: 20/20 on ABC; Ghost Whisperer, Close to Home and Numb3rs on CBS; Fox realities; 1 vs. 100 and Law Order on NBC

Guest of the night: Craig Ferguson has 24's Kiefer Sutherland.

What's on: Thursday

To start, SURVIVOR: FIJI (CBS/8 p.m.) wasn't necessarily bad enough to warrant giving up yet. I've always found there to be more interesting conflicts when they're in full tribe mode than singles competition.

Also, newly single UGLY BETTY (ABC/8 p.m.) hit a speed bump in landing her dorky dreamboat Henry when his ex showed up, happily extending their storyline. Plus, is Alex (Rebecca Romijn) really leaving Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) in the dust. Doubtful.

And because it's Thursday and there's a TON to check out, don't miss the second part of the GREY'S ANATOMY (ABC/9 p.m.) ferry disaster. Or just wait for tomorrow's rerun.

Side note: WWE Raw is on Thursday night this week because of pre-emption from the dog show on Monday. It's going head to head with Spike's TNA Impact for the first time.

Also new: Men in Trees on ABC; CSI and Shark on CBS; 'Til Death, The War at Home and a dwindling The O.C.; NBC's big comedy night and ER; CW's Smallville and Supernatural; Comedy Central's newly-renewed Sarah Silverman Program; and USA's Nashville Star.

Concerning Hobbit

Spoiler alert: I'm gonna try to keep things as kosher as I can, but if you haven't watched the episode yet, better to come back and check out the blog later...

No Jack, no Sawyer, no Kate, no Others.

As promised, Lost went back to the beach Wednesday night. But the complaining's not going to stop, is it?

No. "Fans" of the show who were disappointed that many of their favorite characters were scarce in the first six eps of this season were offered only a glimpse of the Lost they were hoping to see. And to that I say good.

I'm serious. Granted the show spent most of its time off the island (in the past... ish), but the payoff at the end of the ep (with Charlie) covered all the fanboy, Lost-geek fix you could ever need. It also served to make BOTH Charlie and Desmond astronomically more interesting characters.

But what happens when Desmond kicks off?

Make it STOP!

Editor's note: Matt is working hard to get through this season of American Idol, despite never having watched before. The most disturbing part is that he's adding to the terrible show's ratings.

Seriously, this show is not to be watched when you're sick. Fighting off an annoying cold, I came home and popped on Idol (after watching Lost of course, more on that later). I'd planned to blog on is last night but the combination of cold medicine and the most drawn out episode of Idol so far.

It seemed to go on for hours, and there was no significant amount of importance to it. The judges injected unnecessary drama and not one of the contestants was even the least bit interesting. Again, this could be the cold talking, but Wednesday's episode is was probably more useless than all of the original auditions.

I'd understand if viewers were given the chance to come up with their own conclusions for the top 40 -- which would be a wonderful Web extra for their site (that I never really checked for, but wouldn't be surprised if it was there).

Oh. To explain my headline -- I CAN'T GET THAT HORRIBLE BRYAN ADAMS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. Seriously, when you're sick, your sleep is interrupted enough. In my dreams, every time I woke up, when I got out of bed, when I got in the shower... all I hear is Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman. I can't make it go away. I know it's easier to give them all one song and judge them that way, but now I'm trapped in the end credits of Don Juan DeMarco.

I hate you Bryan Adams.

Now, here comes my prediction. (That way I get to use the "I called it" graphic when I'm right.) I'm tempted to pick one of the guys, and after Taylor Hicks' win last year, that leads me to think the goof factor is a powerful force. I submit that Jack Osbourne-looking Chris Sligh will take home the title. Mark it down.

Right fake news (as opposed to... left... fake... news)

From tv.com:

Joel Surnow has the antidote to those liberal jokesters at The Daily Show. Fox News Channel will air the first of two episodes of 24 executive producer Joel Surnow's conservative-leaning satire Sunday night.

If the ratings for The Half-Hour News Hour do well, then the show could become a weekly offering. Two episodes of The Daily Show-like project were ordered last year for telecast in the winter after a 12-minute pilot was developed.

It's hosted by comedians Kurt Long and Jennifer Robertson, and both shows were filmed in front of a studio audience last month in Los Angeles. (Robertson replaces Susan Yeagley, who was the cohost in the pilot but was about to have a child at the time of the taping.)

Surnow said Monday that the show comes from a "right leaning point of view," more so than other shows of its kind.

"We're just going to even out the playing field a little bit and hit targets that we think are hilarious and do it in a very spirited, but warm-spirited, way. It's not mean," Surnow said. Among the topics discussed on the first show are global warming and Democratic presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton.

I'm intrigued, but I don't think it'll find the audience it's looking for.

My geek meter just imploded

From tv.com:

Lost maven in talks to bring Stephen King epic to life.
And child J.J. to the Dark Tower came. The Lost creator is reportedly in talks to possibly produce and/or direct a film version of Stephen King's epic book series The Dark Tower. A Tower movie has been rumored since the first novel was released in 1982, but the epic scope of the project has hindered many efforts.

The fantasy/Western book series spans seven novels as it tells the story of the last gunslinger -- Roland, a knight who protected the fabled land of Gilead -- who wanders a postapocalyptic alternate universe in a quest to destroy the Dark Tower and the evil that dwells within it. Along the way, he collects a ragtag band of followers from various dimensions and time periods. According to Hollywood Reporter, King is hoping a filmmaker with a strong vision can help the process along. The author is a self-professed fan of Lost and Abrams.

The drool has overtaken my keyboard...

What's on: Wednesday

Well, hmm... LOST (ABC/10 p.m.) goes back to the island, so all those of you who've been annoyed at the lack of Hurley, Locke and Sayid this year can cheer up a bit. Last week's installment was amazing, and I don't see the show slowing down at all.

Also, if you haven't watched JERICHO (CBS/8 p.m.), the network has a catchup clip show for you this evening. The show is really entertaining, despite the CBS-quality writing. I know clip shows are lame, but here's a chance to grab a great show to add to your TiVo schedule.

ABC's George Lopez and Knights of Prosperity; Criminal Minds and CSI: NY on CBS; FOX's Bones and American Idol; Medium, Deal or No Deal and Friday Night Lights on NBC; Beauty and the Geek's finale and One Tree Hill on CW; Top Design on Bravo; Comedy Central's Naked Trucker and T-bones.

LETTERMAN has guests of the night in comic/ventriloquist Otto and George, and Norah Jones.

No contest

Editor's note: Matt's blogging about his experience watching American Idol this season -- his first time watching the show. At the very least it's more interesting than Anna Nicole Smith.

I was extremely interested to see what would happen now that the side show is shut down and the actual contest has begun.And, honestly, as an audience member they still make it hard for you to get a good idea of the talent that's there. You're still left only knowing anything about maybe 15 of the 170 something contestants that are there.

So I'm still not invested in the show, and now it's starting to become more like every other popular reality show out there. There's more focus on making characters out of the contestants -- accentuated best by our two Shore natives Antonella Barba of Point Pleasant and Amanda Coluccio of Holmdel. Those two came of as a little ditzier than they did in the opening rounds (though, I'm sure that's to blame on production), and really made it hard for their fellow group member to move on. At least one New Jerseyan is in the top 40, though. See the Press' coverage here. Shots after the competition showed at least one of them picking on the poor lil' southern girl. I'll give it to her, though, Barba can sing. Her pal's rhythm left something to be desired though.

I had hoped the bickering with the judges was over, but I suppose not. As if it really worked in the first round, they continued to argue and one oven sent her mom out on the stage to argue. At the least, this week provides a certain amount of drama and anxiety that the opening round does not. It's much more interesting this way, I admit, but I'm still not seeking how this how is any different than any other reality show or why it has so many viewers. I need someone to explain this to me...

Peeved Paula

From AP:

NEW YORK -- Paula Abdul's spacy behavior on American Idol has prompted many to ponder if there's a tumbler or two of booze in that red cup on the table in front of her on the Fox talent contest. That's nonsense, the 44-year-old Idol judge tells Us Weekly magazine in its February 16 issue.

"I've never been drunk. I have never done recreational drugs," she says. "Just look at my 20-year career. Tell me someone who is into partying or doing drugs that could have done that."

In her five years on Idol, Abdul -- a singer and a movie, TV and stage choreographer -- has weathered criticism about her sometimes odd behavior, which has included slurred and garbled speech, and her not-so-subtle gushing over the show's young, male singers.

"There have been 100 million lies about me," says Abdul, who has said she's taken prescription medication for health problems, including inflammatory arthritis. "I'm squeaky clean. I've worked my ass off my entire life. (But) being involved in the show causes people to question everything."

Oh yeah?! How do you explain THIS:

Anyway, it's not about the fact that she looks drunk on a number of occasions, it's all about how the public likes to joke about celebrities' problems. You're in the public eye. Deal with it.

And I've been saying such nice things about NBC

I'm all for giving new shows the best shot you can, but don't do it at the expense of quality television that you're too lazy to promote correctly. From Variety:

NBC's The Black Donnellys will now preem Feb. 26, bumping Studio 60 off the sked a week early. NBC is pushing up the premiere date for The Black Donnellys -- and pulling Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip off the air a week earlier than planned. Donnellys, which was set to bow March 5, will now sign on Monday, Feb. 26, at 10 p.m.

Move gives Donnellys an extra week on the air with a first-run Heroes lead-in. Heroes is set to go into repeats after its March 5 episode. Premiere date change was announced Tuesday afternoon, hours after Nielsen confirmed that Studio 60 -- the current occupant of the post-Heroes timeslot -- dropped to its lowest ratings yet. NBC hasn't yet said when it plans to bring back Studio 60 for its final run of season one segs.

Decision to yank Studio 60 a week early will no doubt raise a new round of questions about the show's long-term fate. Insiders said the net still hasn't decided what to do with the show and that the sked change is mostly about giving Donnellys the best possible launch.

Blue Collar blech...

Yuck. From tv.com:

Blue Collar Comedy veteran will star as a no-nonsense family therapist.

TBS has ordered eight episodes of The Bill Engvall Show, in which the Blue Collar Comedy veteran plays a no-nonsense family therapist whose own family could use some counseling.

Nancy Travis plays his wife, who is trying to make sure their three children turn out all right. TBS will premiere the comedy in the summer. Engvall -- famed for his Blue Collar Comedy projects with Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White and Larry the Cable Guy -- wrote the series with Michael Leeson.

Bill Engvall follows TBS's first original scripted comedy series, My Boys and 10 Items or Less, which bowed in November. The promising launch of the two shows -- My Boys has already been picked up for additional episodes -- encouraged TBS brass to step up their efforts in the field.

I know some people like the Blue Collar guys. I certainly haven't had time for their kind of comedy since high school. Engvall may be the most tolerable of the group, but I'm still really tired of them getting such exposure... still, it's not like it's a real show -- it's first run on TBS. Plus, who calls anything "no-nonsense" anymore?

Here's a more useful character, also from tv.com:

Former NYPD Blue actor moves to South Florida for family drama.

Jimmy Smits has signed on to star in an untitled CBS drama series about a powerful Latin American family of rum merchants in south Florida. The former star of NYPD Blue and The West Wing will also executive-produce the project, which was previously known as Los Duques.

He will play Alex Vega, an outsider who has been given control of Duque Rum by the Duques' ailing patriarch. Landing Smits is a major coup for CBS, which, along with the other broadcast networks, has been trying for years to woo Smits to do a pilot. CBS came close in 2002 with the pilot for CSI: Miami, which went to Smits' NYPD Blue predecessor David Caruso.

Full story for that one here. Would have liked to see him be president for a few years, but West Wing was certainly past its prime.

What's on: Tuesday

The past week or so of television has been inpeccable, thanks to sweeps. Really annoys me that the networks hold out for one week each third of the season before using their A game. But Feb. sweeps tend to be the best, this year seems to be no different. If you get a chance, the most recent eps of Psych, Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty and Veronica Mars are all worth your time.



As for tonight, if you're an AMERICAN IDOL (FOX/8 p.m.) fan the competition actually begins tonight, with the first ep of Hollywood... I'm hoping that my Idol experiment becomes somewhat entertaining. Follow that up with HOUSE (FOX/9 p.m.) the No. 4 network has a clinch on No. 1.



Also new: CBS' NCIS and The Unit; Primetime and Boston Legal on ABC; Dateline and Law Order: CI and SVU on NBC; Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars on CW; Dirt on FX; Real Housewives of Orange County on BRAVO; Road Rules and Wrestling Society X on MTV; and Miami Ink on TLC.

What's on: Monday

Sorry I'm a bit late this evening, but it's my day off.

Anyway, there's only one thing you NEED to watch tonight, and that's a solid two hours of 24 (FOX/8 p.m.). That's right, they're cramming in two hours tonight for sweeps... and WE'RE reaping the benefits.

Also new: How I Met Your Mother, The Class, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement and CSI: Miami on CBS; Deal or No Deal, Heroes, and Studio 60 on NBC; Wife Swap, Supernanny and What About Brian on ABC; Everybody Hates Chris, All of Us, Girlfriends and The Game on CW.

What's on: Sunday

Tonight's big show is the GRAMMY AWARDS (CBS/8 p.m.). Not that I'm saying you should watch it, in fact, it may only be worth TiVoing just to fast forward to the good performances, of which you may find one or two (Gnarls Barkley among them). I'm not really a fan of event TV -- or pop music.



If they're not for you, FAMILY GUY (FOX/9 p.m.) should be fun. Peter quits drinking and picks up smoking crack... sounds hilarious, eh?



Oooh! And don't miss DRESDEN FILES (SCI-FI/9 p.m.). Killer new show about a mystery-solving wizard set in modern time.



Also new: Grease, Apprentice and Crossing Jordan on NBC; Simpsons, King of the Hill and American Dad on FOX; two hours of Extreme Makeover: Home, Desperate Housewives and Brothers Sisters on ABC; Reba and 7th Heaven on CW; Rome and Extras on HBO.

That's right folks...

Pam and Roy! THAT'S RIGHT!! (Not that it was a particularly hard call to make, but you understand my need to brag...)

Apologies to Colbert.

Airport screening sucks

From Gannett News Service:

HONOLULU -- Film from ABC's hit show Lost was ruined when security employees at the Honolulu International Airport accidentally X-rayed the canisters despite warning labels asking them not to.

The show's crew had to reshoot the scenes because there were no copies.

"This is the first time anything like this has happened,'' said state Film Commissioner Donne Dawson, adding that steps have been taken to prevent a repeat of the incident.

The loss will not affect the broadcast schedule for the popular show, according to co-executive producer Jean Higgins. Higgins declined to say how much the gaffe cost ABC.

"That's proprietary information between us and the insurance company,'' she said. "We've already reshot. We are still on schedule.''

Lost reportedly spends $1.5 million to $2 million or more per episode with about 200 full- and part-time workers. Normally it takes about eight days to shoot an episode, so if one day's worth of film was destroyed, the cost could be close to $200,000.

The incidents occurred when the film canisters were mistakenly mixed with passenger luggage and then sent through an X-ray machine. The canisters were left unattended at X-ray machines along with other nonfilm cargo. The film apparently was then thrown in with piles of passenger luggage without regard for the warning labels indicating not to X-ray the sensitive contents within.

According to an informational Web site run by the film office, the mistake occurred following a new Transportation Security Administration cargo security directive that requires that all small cargo packages traveling on passenger planes be screened by air carriers via an explosive-detection system or explosive trace detection system.

Can't wait until the government tries telling big business that "freedom isn't free." All well and good when it's a few million air travelers, but don't mess with Disney.

TV content: nothing to worry about when you see overblown headlines on your Comcast home page or local paper.

What's on: Friday

It's Friday, so basically you get boring ol' Matt telling you to watch Monk and Psych. Well, do it, but I've got to get to work early today, so I don't have time to elaborate.



Also new: 20/20 on ABC; Ghost Whisperer, Close to Home and Numb3rs on CBS; Fox realities; 1 vs. 100, Las Vegas and Law Order on NBC



Best guest? Tenacious D is on Kimmel. Can't go wrong. So's Guillermo Del Toro (director of Pan's Labyrinth).

Survivor's back

And it's pretty much the same game it's always been. That doesn't bode well for the first big reality show, despite the fact that it's been renewed for its 15th and 16th competitions next year.

Exile Island is back, but their big opening gimmick this year was to force the 19 contestants to build a Taj Mahal of a campsite only to find out that the winners of the immunity challenge would get it. To be fair, they were suspicious of their task the whole time. Doesn't change the fact that half of the contestants had just worked on their new oppenents' home and now had another shelter to go build.

But it's not really evolving as a whole, and that can't be good for the show. I'll admit I haven't missed an episode since Season 2, but I'm getting tired of it myself. They need to shake it up a bit more... keep them separated completely is my suggestion. Even better, put them in the cold. Or keep EVERYONE around to be in the jury at the end. But do something to make it so different that no one can show up with a plan that would even remotely work. It has to be a different game if it's going to survive... and it's gotta keep drawing real characters.

The characters could be there this season -- you never know until about four shows in -- but the game's still the same. 'Less something big changes though, I may join the millions of others who've given up on what really was a compelling show. And you know how I hate to be part of the crowd.

Lite Brite bombs a bomb

So I was wrong. From TV.com:

$2 million doesn't go as far as it used to.

The extra publicity surrounding Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which is costing Turner Broadcasting a cool $2 million, didn't change the ratings for the show much. In its first post-bomb scare airing, the show averaged 386,000 viewers last week among 18-to-24-year-old viewers, up 6,000 viewers from the week before, according to Nielsen Media Research.

Last week, the city of Boston went into high alert when blinking electronic devices were discovered around the city. Hours later, it was learned the devices were part of a guerrilla marketing campaign to promote Aqua Teen.

Monday, Turner Broadcasting and the ad agency Interference are paying $2 million to Boston to help the city recover the costs associated with the alarm.

"It is our hope that these funds will cover not only the expenses incurred," Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley said. "They will also enable our communities to enhance homeland security or pursue other important community initiatives."

Would have better served Turner to wait until the movie was due out... Watch other cities start blowing up billboards now.

Another day, another useless clip show...

Editor's note: Matt's still on his quest to watch every single episode of American Idol this season. Everyone has to have goals, we suppose.

As if it wasn't bad enough that American Idol had to pad it's schedule with a clip show last night, I had to watch it. Not that I really even got to it until about 2 p.m. this afternoon (thank you Tivo). I did watch Lost (and some other actually entertaining shows) upon arriving at home and was pleasantly surprised at an amazing return effort. I'm a giggling little schoolgirl when it comes to Lost, and I couldn't have been happier at a wonderfully action-packed episode. I was stoked to see guests from two of my favorite shows -- Always Sunny's Mac and Deadwood's Calamity Jane -- and even more excited that they dropped some fanboy bombs on us. I'll hold off on the spoilers until this weekend when I may have to get my geek on and watch the whole episode again.

Anyway, clip shows are the second lamest form of television (behind reality). I hate them so much I deleted even the Lost catch-up from the DVR without a second thought. There's no need to make the hardcore viewer sit through stuff like this -- or delete it from their DVR or bgrudgingly change the station -- especially if your motive is to attract new viewers to your waning shows or catch people up who missed a few episodes and may be hesitant to try to pick up the story mid-season. Either way, do it on the Web -- that's the perfect place because it offers an on-demand environment and doesn't make someone who loves the show angry that they're being cheated out of a new ep that week. USA has the right idea with their two-minute online recaps.

Now, I understand this was "extra" Idol content -- stuff we didn't see or stuff that was so good or bad that we, like, just HAVE to see it again. That's a more reasonable excuse, but I still call it editing-room leftovers. I paid more attention to the two-minute preview for the Shrek sequel than I did the entire episode of Idol. We're at a point in the life of our society's attention span that we need to get on with the show. Give me continually compelling TV every week without fail. If that means long hiatuses, so be it. Sopranos is doing just fine. Reruns and clip shows are not going to get you viewers -- they can see their reruns on DVD (through Netflix or their local overpriced electronics store) or the Web (legally and illegally); they can see their clips on YouTube.

You want season-filling specials? Give me side-stories, documentaries or something like that. Don't give me stuff I've seen and promise me 20 seconds of something I haven't seen because I'm not sitting through it. America is perfectly willing to give its attention to the networks on a nightly basis and they're insulting us 30 percent of the time.

New addition, news...

I'd like to make a huge announcement. There's been a new addition to my family. He's 80 hours big, grey and boxlike but adorable -- and he records two shows at once. That's right, a new dual-tuner TiVo has been added to my abode and, if only to accentuate the reason this announcement is about a piece of machinery and not a small human, I can record THREE shows at once. No more trolling the Internet for copies of something I missed. Probably no more social life either, but it's debatable whether I have one now.

That brings me to this bit of news. From AP:

SEATTLE - Amazon.com Inc. and TiVo Inc. have jumped into the digital download wars, with a twist: The new partners will beam movies and TV shows directly to their customers' living rooms.

The companies said a test version of their new service, called Amazon Unbox on TiVo, will begin Wednesday with an unspecified number of TiVo customers.

The full service is expected to debut later this year, available for the 1.5 million TiVo digital video recorders with broadband Internet capability. Officials refused to give a target date for the service's launch.

Thousands of movies from several major studios and TV shows from CBS and Fox will be available, said Bill Carr, Amazon.com's vice president of digital media. Both companies expect agreements with more studios and networks in the future.

"We think this is a breakthrough," Carr said. "We're providing people with the simplest way to actually play back their digital content on a television set."

Unbox on TiVo joins a rash of new digital download services from retailers and entertainment companies, and builds on the Unbox service that Amazon.com launched last year.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. entered the market Tuesday, when it unveiled an online movie download store. Other competitors include Movielink, which is owned by five studios, and CinemaNow.

Most online download services, however, leave content essentially trapped on the customer's computer. TiVo and Amazon.com's major advantage is their ability to deliver movies and TV shows directly to the TiVo box, observers said.

*snip*

Apple TV, the new set-top, video-streaming box coming this month from Apple Inc., should be a top rival. Like Unbox on TiVo, Apple TV is designed to move digital content from a user's computer to their TV set.

But Unbox on TiVo may have an advantage in the customers who already have broadband-ready TiVo hardware in their homes. While a new Apple TV box will cost around $300, the only additional cost for a TiVo user will be the price of a movie or TV show over the existing Unbox download service.

TV episodes will sell for $1.99, with most movies priced between $9.99 and $14.99, the companies said. Movie rentals will start at $1.99. No extra hardware purchases are required, and there will be no additional subscription fees, the companies said.

It's basically the same as the on-demand services that your cable company provides, but you'll more than likely have many more choices as far as what movies to watch. Now you don't even have to walk to your MAILBOX to get a movie (Netflix, we hardly knew ye). And, the way things are going, your TiVo will record everything on every channel at all times so all you have to do is rewind back to last Thursday if you missed Grey's Anatomy. And I love it. Who needs to get off the couch... now I just gotta get me one of them armchair refrigerators.

What's on: Thursday

CBS will never run the table on Thursday nights until they drop Shark from the schedule. That being said, they've got me for two hours tonight. Definitely don't miss the return of Grissom on CSI (CBS/9 p.m.). S'far as I can tell it'll be the exit of Keppler as well, but I'm not sure about that. Maybe we'll get to see the new miniature, too...

Jeff Probst is back with SURVIVOR: FIJI (CBS/8 p.m.). The show's looking for different ways to keep it interesting, maybe without reason. It's the people and not the gimmicks that are enjoyable. But a new season and a new gimmick begin, and I'm locked in for at least the first few episodes.

Not to go overboard, but I can't go without mentioning THE OFFICE (NBC/8:30 p.m.). Tonight's episode, "Phyllis' Wedding" should be impeccable. I can just picture Michael or Dwight giving an impromptu toast -- and, place your bets now, I'm guaranteeing a Pam and Roy hookup.

Also new tonight: Shark on CBS; Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy and Men in Trees on ABC; Til Death, War at Home and The O.C. on FOX; Earl, Scrubs, 30 Rock and ER on NBC; Smallville and Supernatural on the C-dub; Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central.

What's on: Wednesday

What's on?! WHAT'S ON???

LOST (ABC/10 p.m.) is on baby! They're going to have to prove themselves after such a long time off and just-OK episodes before going on break, but yeah they're back. I'm stoked and you should be, too. Preceding (9 p.m.) is a clip show narrated by creator Damon Lindelof (I'm told), which will catch you up if you've missed anything, but likely won't be worth it if you're a real fan.

I hesitate to suggest anything else, because nothing will be as good, but I can't ignore the second part of the CRIMINAL MINDS (CBS/9 p.m.) twofer that started after the Super Bowl with geeky Dr. Spencer Reed (Matthew Gubler) in the hands of a multiple-personalitied psychotic played by the Dawson (that's right, James Van Der Beek) and the most adorable woman on TV JJ (A.J. Cook) in unknown condition after a pit bull attack. Part one is rerunning at 8 p.m. in case you missed it in your post-Colt-win eupohoria.

Guest of the night: CRAIG FERGUSON (CBS/12:35 p.m.) has Bob Saget (a great comic) and Jonny Lang performing.

Also new: CSI: NY (with a Nelly Furtado guest spot) on CBS; Friday Night Lights, Medium and Deal or No Deal on NBC; Bones and American Idol on FOX; George Lopez and Knights of Prosperity on ABC; and Beauty and the Geek and One Tree Hill on CW.

Incidentally, I'm not very good with letting you know about new cable fare (besides FX, which is awesome), so please let me know if there's a channel or a show I'm neglecting (more than likely because of my TV snobbery) and I'll do my best to keep up.