So THIS is "American Idol"

Editor's note: So the competition has begun as Matt continues his crusade to watch an entire season of American Idol. Now he gets to criticize specific people, instead of the show's producers...

For the first ridiculous month of this show, I suppose this is what I've been waiting for. The live studio audience, the audience voting, the extra few minutes of Seacrest (who has no improv skills). Actual competition.

Except for the padding. We need to fill two hours, so let's spend 15 minutes out of every half hour with what's already happened to the guys over the past month of excruciating television or interviewing them about their experience so far.

Anyway, before I get into these performances, I'll say this once for the rest of the round: This show is not permeated by the type of tunes I would really ever rock on my iPod. But I was significantly curious to see what a pop music contest actually means. Here's what I thought:

Rudy Cardenas: I agree with Randy that it was a corny performance, and I wasn't as disappointed in his voice as Simon.

Brandon Rogers: Not half bad at all. Judges didn't like him, and I wasn't blown away, but it's nice there's a lil' bit of soul to get this started.

Sundance Head: Lucky to be where he is, I was really high on this guy after his audition, where they played him up big, but the performance tonight was just as bad as Hollywood turned out for him. Horrible song, too, for the record.

Paul Kim: I don't like this guy's bassy, breathy R&B tone. He started off better than I expected, but he fell off through the song, which may have outshined him.

Chris Richardson: Don't call Timberlake an artist, first of all -- so he'd already lost me before he even started. Nice to see a little bit of energy, but I think he was really helped by the backup band. (I think Simon agreed with me).

Nick Pedro: Watch next time he stands next to Seacrest, they have the same smile. I kinda liked his tune, and I'm glad Simon backed me up. Slow, yes, but not as annoying as Randy and Paula treated it.

Blake Lewis (the beatbox guy): At the very least, his hair should carry him two weeks. He's not that bad on the mic, and though I think he picked the wrong point in the show to pick yet ANOTHER slow song (I'm glad he didn't hit the beatbox), he's got nothing to worry about.

Sanjaya Malakar: Seeing him talk makes him seem only a little less like a cutesy little kid, which I think is his worst trait. He's got a great voice, but he needs some serious energy if he plans on sticking around. SERIOUS energy. He'd have had no problems on Star Search, but the drug companies hadn't created A.D.D. back then.

Chris Sligh: He picked a song with a bit more oomph behind it, and he started out singing way too hard. He rocked it, but I think he's too much of a fan/judge favorite, and his voice will never be able to live up to that pressure.

Jared Cotter: Despite the corny song, he's the best so far. No doubt. 'Course the judges disagree. But considering the rest of them, he was my favorite.

A.J. Tabaldo: Well, he could work in Vegas... I'm saying which venue though. Big fat blech from me, but Simon's not wrong with his "better than I originally thought."

Phil Stacey: When he stopped moaning and started singing, he definitely earned a pass, but the opening was so drab and painful...

More than likely, you'll see Sundance and Sanjaya go home. That's only my opinion, of course. The show really wore me out and parts felt like a karaoke bar more than Fox television. I'm more than likely going to be fast-forwarding through all the banter from now on. Without all that, the show's much more interesting than it looked from my too-cool-for-the-room pedestal. I can see how, as soon as I can remember all their names, watercooler talk will be no problem.

In review:
Thumbs up: Brandon Rogers, Nick Pedro, Blake Lewis, Chris Sligh, Jared Cotter
OK: Paul Kim, Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey
Thumbs down: Rudy Cardenas, Sundance Head, Sanjaya Malakar, A.J. Tabaldo

And Paula gets three lime twists out of four.